19 Confronting Relationship Facts You Don’t Want To Hear

Imagine this scenario, beautiful beach, sunset, champagne, warm balmy night, holding hands, love is in the air, you feel amazing. Romance, we all love the idea of romance. But how long can romance in its original, passionate, all encompassing state exist before the day to day stuff gets in the way. I’m not saying that you can’t experience a deep long term love or passion I’m just saying that over time it changes. Life just gets in the way and without compromise it often doesn’t last the distance. Latest data suggests that 1 in 3 marriages end in divorce!

Many of us  live in a culture that creates this expectation that we will find true love and that when we do life will become this bed of roses, yet for many of us this is far from the way life really is. We have all either experienced or watched from the outside, relationships that don’t work, relationships that are toxic or unhealthy. Yet although we know this we still have this need to cling to this belief that there will be, at some point, sunshine and flowers. I guess many of us have a need to believe in that fairy tale.

But in reality relationships are not easy, even the really good ones take work.  Without compromise you might as well pack your bags.

So is love a feeling?  Or is it a series of actions – perhaps it’s both?  Action might mean engaging, doing, connecting, communicating and then making the commitment to keep doing it.

Whether you believe love is a feeling or an action or both is it worth considering that if you are able to open your mind and accept that love can be all of these things that then perhaps you might find that feeling of joy, that realisation that love changes, diverts, grows, evolves but at the end you could have something that is worth the struggle, worth the time and effort.

So these 19 confronting facts might burst your “love” bubble but how much more prepared would you be to deal with the ups and downs if you are aware of what the pitfalls might be?

1. You won’t always like your partner or feel attracted to him/her.
2. You won’t always miss your partner when you’re away from each other.
3. You will feel bored and lonely at times.
4. You will wonder if there’s someone “better” at times (is the grass greener on the other side) – this is normal.
5. Your partner is not your clone, and differences can be challenging
6. Your sex life will be unfulfilling at times.
7. Real love includes fear in all sorts of forms
8. The deeper the love, the deeper the fear and the deeper the risk
9. You will have thoughts like, “I want to leave. I want something else. I want someone else.” It’s normal to feel like this from time to time and often its to do with fear
10. Conflict is inevitable, you will not see eye to eye all the time.
11. You will see each other at your worst and at your best.
12. You will lash out at each other and say things you don’t mean.
13. You will hurt each other.
14. You will break each other’s trust at some point.
15. You will both bring your past into the relationship: childhood pain, pain from past relationships and broken friendships.
16. If you have kids, you will endure several years where neither of you are getting your needs met.
17. You will feel enraged, irritated, indignant, and unappreciated at times.
18. You will need to swallow pride and apologize first some of the time.
19. You will get old together, warts and all.  

Its sounds like doom and gloom so you may ask why so many people do it.  Well is it because love is what it’s all about, is it our ultimate desire? Is it the glue that holds us all together.  Although some might disagree and suppress their true emotions, is the truth that we all want to feel real love.